As I write this, I’m eating lasagna. So if you’re hoping for fitness inspiration or – dear God – advice, it’s best that you leave now. If you’re instead hungry for whining and ramblings about failed weight loss attempts, you’ve come to the right place and I welcome you with my soft, doughy arms. It’s not that I […]Read More I Work(ed) Out
And just like that, my baby is one year old. We had a little gathering on the weekend. Family came into town, some friends came over, furniture was moved, decorations were hung, a kiddie pool was bought, inflated and filled, champagne was popped, gifts were opened, cake was smashed. Later that evening, we sat around, relieved […]Read More It’s my Birthing Day, and I’ll Cry if I Want to
Inexplicably, one of my favourite songs is Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler.” I heard it for the first time when I was about 11 years old. I love knowing the lyrics to songs, and I memorized that sucker right away and have been singing it under my breath for the past 20 years. Let me tell […]Read More Kenny Rogers was Right
I’m not a moron… But I’ve had some bad ideas in my day. We’re talking real stinkers. For example: I planned our honeymoon to include two nights in the jungle in Borneo, forgetting my crippling fear of nature, which extends all the way to very large flowers. And which definitely includes poisonous snakes. I spent […]Read More I Could Never be Married to Me
“Wait, let me put on my non-nursing bra!” I said to Nina and my husband. Nina is our hot, childless friend who came to visit us in Madrid. My parents were also visiting and had offered to stay with the baby so we could go out for the evening. Nina currently lives in Paris and […]Read More Painting the Town Beige
Dear very pregnant friend, Well, we’ve been through some stuff. We’ve been through Econ exams, mammoth essays, bullshit group projects, beginnings of new loves (ours and others), hilarious misadventures as co-op students and less hilarious misadventures as young professionals. You hosted my engagement party, my bridal shower, my bachelorette party and my baby shower. And […]Read More Dear very pregnant friend: People are jerks.
Babies love sitting quietly while you watch Law & Order SVU. Well, mine did when he was a squishy newborn and breastfeeding took an hour per feed and then he’d snooze in my arms between feeds. We made it through season after season of Detective Benson’s hairstyles and Ice-T’s one-liners (“Does it look like I’m going to […]Read More How to play with your baby (while being super lazy)